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5th December 2009
When Mars Meets Venus
Readers beware, it's time for another rant and rave about how wonderful Libras are! Maybe.I think it's interesting how many people feel that guys and girls cannot be friends. There are only two sexes on this planet, and we can't be friends? Isn't that kind of wasteful?The other day, on facebook, I saw a friend re-post his friend's note about how in every man's life there is a woman that he can never be with but the two can share many parts of their lives as well as be best friends, even with the other has found a partner. They will support each other to the end, without asking to be anything more than a friend. Easily said, but I sense ruefulness between the lines. The speaker WISHED he/she could be something more to the other person.[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="320" caption="Friends? Lovers? Enemies?"][/caption]
I have also been told that if a guy wants to be friends with you, it's generally only because he's interested in you. Even if it doesn't start that way, they always develop interest in you. And when they lose interest, then the relationship ends. Thus, men and women cannot JUST be friends. They always want something extra, something more from the other person.But being a hard core Libra, I have the need to treat all equally and fairly, male or female. In that case, why can't I be friends with both male and female? Gender aside, we're all just human, no? Don't we always SAY that we WANT to be treated equally? Well, I know, being a hypocrite is human nature, but let's not blame too much on nature and throw our hands in the air.
I always joke about how I exist to disprove this theory that guys and girls can't be friends, because my number of guy and girl friends are about equal. This doesn't mean that during the time of the friendship, the two couldn't have felt something romantic for each other, but you get pass it and then discover the other person for just a good "mind" or "person" and not reduced to a "male" or "female." Though I admit, maybe it's easier for some types of personalities.
True, Mars and Venus couldn't get along. But that's because they were Greek Gods (in their Roman names) and they were married - major case for drama. It doesn't always have to be that way. Yes, we are man or woman, but that's does not define who we are, at least not if you don't want it to. Similarly, it shouldn't be the defining factor of what gender the other person is. There must be some sort of attraction for people to want to be friends, perhaps I am naive, but I still believe that we can respect and love others just for who they are, and not what we want from them.
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3rd December 2009
High Expectations
As I have known since childhood, expectations set the tone for most things in life. As an Asian (yes, the stereotypical studious nerd kind), I've always had a secret complaint: How is it that someone can have good grades all her life and then get yelled at or punished for getting a slightly lower grade, while someone else can have all bad grades all her life and then get praised and adored for getting a slightly higher grade?
Well, this article in the Economist brought up that once you see a person a certain way, it's difficult to change it. It's also what people call the "first impression is hard to shake." This works both ways. You can first see a person as good and then it's hard to convince you that he's bad... or you first see a person as bad and it's hard to convince you otherwise. It's extremely unfair, but it's so very true. We've all been and we continue to be guilty of this.[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="I'm not that Innocent. "][/caption]There's no way to avoid it. Humans like to categorize things, as early as Aristotle and probably far beyond human records. It helps us cope with the complexities of life. The problem is that once we have established our opinion, we are extremely reluctant to overturn it, because that represents going back on our own egos and judgment. Big issue.But this reluctance is what brings us to misunderstandings and false expectations. Humans are actually extremely versatile, but being versatile also means having a lack of security, so generally we choose stability over change. Once we have confined ourselves in a certain train of thought, we drop everything else. That is not to say we should divide our attention into a million tiny bits. There is a very simple thing that we can think about:We are free humans (at least those that I know). This gives us the privilege to judge and choose. If we limit ourselves, then we have taken away our own choices.For example, because I have always been a good student, I was expected to take (and so I "chose") a suitable career path, let's say a lawyer, and then work towards becoming a high power partner, though I really only like to make yummy desserts and being buried in a stack of paperwork bores me to tears. Because I was smart, I was expected to... so I don't even think of myself as being able to choose....Another aspect of this is that once we have seen something in a certain light, we don't like to change our perspective of it, which in effect rejects the notion that humans can change. Well, yes, they can, some more some less, and everyone at their own pace. If/when we change, other options come forth to greet us.If you can see through all the levels of expectations, then you see that... some of us do not choose, some of us do chose, but there was always a choice.
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Sze K. Aka Chan's Posterous
歸去，也無風雨也無晴。
Walking the Fool's Journey.79312 ViewsTwitterFacebook -
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