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30th June 2011
The Silence of Vadjra Guru Pema 班扎古鲁白玛的沉默
The Silence of Vadjra Guru Pema
(a.k.a. Whether you see me, or not)
(扎西拉姆·多多, Translation: Aka)Whether you see me, or not
Whether you think of me, or not
I am, here
Neither in sorrow, nor joy
My affections are, here
Neither coming, nor going Whether you love me, or not
My love is, here
Neither growing, nor abating Whether you come with me, or not
My hand is, in yours
Never to abandon, never to forsake Come into my embrace
Or
Let me into your Heart In Silence, and Attachment
In Peace, and Contentment.
班扎古鲁白玛的沉默
(又名： 你见，或者不见我)你见，或者不见我
我就在那里
不悲不喜
你念，或者不念我
情就在那里
不来不去
你爱，或者不爱我
爱就在那里
不增不减
你跟，或者不跟我
我的手就在你手里
不舍不弃
来我的怀里
或者
让我住进你的心里
默然 相爱
寂静 欢喜---
T/N: This poem was falsely attributed to the 6th Dalai Lama, Tsangyang Gyatso, who was an accomplished and celebrated poet. However, it was actually written by Zaxilamu Duoduo, a contemporary female Chinese poet, who is a devout practicing Buddhist. Thus, this poem is said to be not actually about romantic love, but rather how Buddha would not abandon any person of the world. Regardless of whether or not they are believers, he will always protect with his benevolent heart. (source: Baidu) Of course, it could also just be a simple but beautiful love poem. ☺ Dedicated to the two pairs of beautiful newlyweds! <3
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24th October 2010
Love & Marriage V
已經有許久沒有用中文寫一篇文章，久到我差不多忘掉如何用這些優美的詞句來編織心裏的話。很久以前，我曾經翻譯過12句據説會讓人心疼的話。沒有經歷過那些心痛情景的人，或許不能理解。但是我卻認爲，只要你有靈性悟性，你並不用經歷世間所有的悲痛也可以了解到這些悲痛所帶來的傷害以及成長。此時，看到別人訝異的悲歡離合，我只剩下會心一笑。
我是一個矛盾的人。我絕對相信命運，但是我也絕對相信個人的力量。就算命運如此，在一件事情發生之後你如何對待它，其實是凴你自己的決定。
很多人認爲愛是觸摸不到的。它要降臨你阻止不了它，它要離開你同樣無可奈何。這當然是事實。但這也是一種逃避責任的説法。你愛一個人，你該如何對待這份愛？如果你愛她，你當然會時刻記挂她，希望為她做一點事，花多點時間為她選擇一份你希望會最讓她開心的禮物。這無關男女，只是單純地想為一個重要的人做一點事。在愛中，我們很容易會迷失了自己，因爲自己已經成爲這份愛的一部分了。
如果有一天你失去這種動力心思，不再用心猜測她最近迷上的小玩意，不再特別在意她，執著為她挑選出最好的髮夾，到了那個時候，分開或許並不是一個難看的結局。
感情並不可恥。同樣，感情的失去，可以看做可惜，也可以説是可貴， 是結束，也是開端。
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12th June 2010
Love and Marriage IV
This is a typical scenario. There are two people - One drives you mad, the other gives you peace. One makes you sad, the other tries to cheer you up. One tears your heart apart, the other soothes it with love and care. Why do people usually end up remembering or choosing the former one? It's a strange trick that our minds and hearts like to play on us. We tend to like adventure, conquering, directing, proving one's worth through relationships... but forget that love is more about sharing and compromising. It's usually not the person who fits you perfectly, it's the person whose faults you can stand.I always felt that if I spend too much time with someone I like/love, I would have less time to spend with this person in the future. That is, the time that we get to spend together is finite... limited. And I try to ration it out... and enjoy it later (the typical save the best for last). I was afraid that the more I spend, the less I have. Well, with novels, it's said that you put the three best chapters in front and another good one at the end... but that's not life.Regardless of what happens in the future, in the present moment, we should all treat our significant others or just people we care about in general with love and respect. Recent years there have been case after case of failed marriages/long term relationships around me, and I think the reason is not only that we grow apart as we mature and move forward in life, but also that we sometimes just tend to do the wrong things for the right reasons: considering practical reasons instead of personal/emotional reasons when deciding on who to marry; deciding to stay with someone because we feel obligated to do so, now because we want to do so; thinking that we're not going to find anyone better... etc. Perhaps I'm still naive, but I do firmly believe that when one marries, it should be to someone whom he/she has a deep intellectual, emotional and physical bond with. It has to be external, yes (we all need to consider life and perhaps even future generations), but it MUST be internal as well (Love seems now such a contrived word... but it gets the point across). Otherwise, it will come back to kick you in the @$$ some time in the future. Promise.[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Happy alone, or suffer together?"][/caption]
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13th May 2010
Love and Marriage III: One True Love
Recently, I had many conversations with people about finding the “ONE TRUE LOVE” (DUNDUNDUN)… and of course, most of us know that this does not exist.There are still people who believe in finding their true love. To those I give them my wholehearted support and well wishes. It takes a great deal of strength to be able to continue what most people may consider childish dream. This is not meant to be a post against those people because I have the utmost respect for them. I speak only from personal experience (which includes what I’ve witnessed in other’s lives).Saying that there’s no one true love does not mean one cannot love or that love is just a hopeless mirage. We all love, we all love different people differently at different times. Then there are those specific ones, who, at specific times, seem like the perfect one for us. But we are people, we grow, and we change.Change is one of the most wonderful things about life, it is also one of the most difficult things to deal with in life. When we are in love, we don’t want love to change. When we have comfort, we don’t want comfort to go away. When we have a good job, we always want to stay in the same place. But then we change… and we are not happy anymore with what we have. The person who seemed perfect just yesterday seems to have habits that are just that tiny bit less tolerable. Comfort gets old and boring. A good job seems to come with lack of movement.[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Joint in life and... its representation."][/caption]When we meet that “someone” at a certain time, it’s when our paths cross and you are both at a point in time when you want to create a beautiful bond. We want to walk our separate paths as one. But the path of life continues, and perhaps we reach a point where we diverge and can no longer see the same future. Some people struggle on and manage to return to the same path, and some just never manage to do so. We walk further and further away, until we suddenly one day find that we no longer recognize the person next to us.Yes, this is the reality of change, yet it is also what keeps the world turning. We cannot stop it, therefore we must accept it and learn to live with it. Love itself transforms. One of my favorite authors San Mao say that once love for a man/woman turns into love for a family member, that’s when it will extend to a lifetime. It’s sad, but also beautiful… because it’s part of life, and part of nature.I no longer believe in happily ever after, but I do very much believe in Love.
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21st October 2009
[Reading] Trouble in Love
General Background:
A friend of mine wanted me to just do a general reading for her about the relationship she is currently in. I didn’t have any background aside from that she’s having some sort of trouble in the relationship. Her first question was: should I stay with him or leave him? That yielded a face card, so I asked her to try again with a different question. Then she asked the question: what should I do?Usually with something that general the cards do not produce very helpful readings. But this spread was one of the most coherent spreads I ever saw. Due to privacy reasons, I shall not reveal any of the background but will only tell the story of the spread.This is the classic Celtic Cross spread. I asked her to draw an additional card to see find out about the biggest factor influencing this spread (her life). That came out to be the Emperor. Much of this is according to my own interpretation of the cards, so there may be differences with traditional readings of the cards. However, when intuition takes over and lures out the other side of the card, it’s the most interesting to see how they can evolve to fit a situation.[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Trouble in Love"][/caption]
Sequences:
Cards + positions:
Situation: 2W - at a standstill, generally stable. For a relationship, then that means the relationship has reached a certain degree of maturity.
Obstacle: QnC (R) – QnC is the most passionate and loving person, but if (R) then she must be feared. She will use every tool in her scheming head to twist your heart and destroy your life.
Best that can be achieved: 4P (R) – no way to maintain stability, and therefore must break out of the mold and seeming stability.
Past: Death (R) - Fear of change, refusal to change
Present: Strength (R) – lack of internal strength to move on
Future: QnS (R) – the QnS is always a intelligent and fair person, but already has the tendency of being rather demanding on herself, when reversed, she is downright harmful to herself and possibly people around her.
True Self: 6C – unable to let go of the past, nostalgia, holding on to past kindness from other people (in this case, the man ).
Environment: High Priestess – a guiding factor, someone (probably female) who holds the key to the heart. In this case I wondered if that represented myself… but that is unclear.
Hopes/fears: Wheel – hoping for a twist of fate to help one out of a situation, except the wheel is fickle, and life can as easily take a turn for the worse as for the better.
Overall: 3W – Take your eyes forward to afar. There is much else in the world. The card also has a sense of entrepreneurship, which could mean that she should concentrate on career/business for now.
Ruling/Influence agent: Emperor - a man with a VERY strong personal and a control freak. The Emperor can be a sweet and comforting figure with his status and maturity, but on the other hand, can easily become a stubborn dictator who is not open to any reasoning except for his own.
2W->3W: if a stable situation comes tumbling down and produces more hurt than benefit, then perhaps it’s time to move out and forward.
QnC (R)->QnS (R): The straight laced and sometimes extreme QnS is no match for the conniving QnC. QnC can do substantial mental and emotional damage to QnS, causing her existing tendencies of self-inflicted pain to magnify. This does NOT bode well for the querent.
Reading Summary (for details see individual cards):
The querent seems to be in a relationship where she is controlled by her overpowering partner and is also facing an unfriendly female power that is doing much damage to her emotionally. She has always been unable to gain a fair share of control in a relationship and generally ends up to be the one who is hurt. Unfortunately, if the QnS (R) holds true, then this trend will continue. However, at this point, she can still break out of the relationship (4P(R)) and look elsewhere for her future. There are alternate futures for her, which she is very fortunate to have, but if she cannot break out of her mold and fall back into the same routine, she will continue to be the one who is hurt.
There are several feminine powers at war/work here, the two Queens, the High Priestess, and Strength. The two queens are both perversed, and Strength is unfortunately suppressed. Only the HP is still upright. The querent should seek help from trustworthy feminine powers around her and not continue to hurt herself and try to handle the situation on her own.A’s notes: Apart of whether or not this spread fits the situation completely, I was amazed that I was able to get such clearly defined cards. Everything made sense and the cards in their positions flowed so smoothly into each other. I think the querent must had been considering this question for a long time for the cards to form such a clear statement. As for the future of this spread… who knows. In my philosophy, tarot serves to guide, not dictate. I only wish the querent all the best, as I was also once the QnS. -
28th September 2009
Love and Marriage II
Everyone has been telling me that once you find that special person, everything just falls into place. You don’t have to put in a lot of effort to make it work and wear yourself down, it just works somehow, and any effort that you put in and any compromises you make won’t seem to be that much of a sacrifice. It will all come very easily.
[caption id="" align="alignright" width="320" caption="On my way toward you..."][/caption]The truth is, the search/wait is for someone worthy of Me. (This "me" could be used by anyone) I know who I am. I know that I am a good person and can bring immense happiness to people. I deserve the best You. This is not quite being self-absorbed. There's a difference between being self-confident and self-absorbed. The former requires a strong Ego controlled by the Id, and the latter by simply a strong and renewed Ego with a clear and even balance between the Id and the Super-Ego.Of course, that said, life is just... what it will be. We never know what will happen in our lives, especially when it comes to love and relationships. A friend of mine asked me a while back that if I had to choose between a successful career or a loving husband/family, what would I choose. Without any hesitation I chose a husband (to her extreme surprise). A year ago, it may have been different. Then again, a year ago if I was asked whether or not I would want a child I would have shook my head vehemently. Now, I would answer: with the right person, yes. I can work for and attain a great career, but I can't ask destiny to grant me the perfect husband (they don't exist, btw lol). So... in comparison, we are that much more fragile when it comes to relationships.I was talking to a friend much older and he made the comment: "what can I say. Guys are dumb. They don't know what they want." He also said that life is about choices and compromises, and that he wished he were my age again, armed with the knowledge that he has now. And I am thankful that I have already attained that knowledge.This is from someone in his fifties with a big happy family and has probably gone through 3 successful careers (so far), so there's something interesting in that comment. Perhaps his unwillingness to compromise, no doubt due to his confidence in himself and his own brilliance had caused him to suffer some damaging loses that he could had prevented had he been willing to compromise. Everyone has a story. Listen up, guys... perhaps you should take a second look at the people around you. You always complain that you don't meet the right girl... but perhaps You are just not looking the right way. Perhaps You don't know to look the right way yet.And so, as my search continues, I go on my merry way to continue to improve myself, so that when/if the right person comes along, I am wise enough to recognize him, brave enough to grab hold to him (much like opportunities), and good enough to keep him. May destiny help me. :)P.s. Again, YES, I do mean a GUY. I love pretty and smart and cute girls... but not THAT way. >_< T_T X_X
有人說，每到選擇的時候，都是痛苦的。曾經，我的想法也是同樣。我甚至曾經想過，如果沒有選擇的權利，人(我)是否過得更快樂，今天的我卻改變了。我們不能讓所有人快樂，但是我們可以盡量讓自己與身邊的人更快樂。能夠選擇是一種權利，並不是所有人都能擁有的。當不好的事情發生，你可以怨天尤人，也可以嘗試去改變。當你遇上兩個你可以選擇相伴一生的人，你要想的不是如果選擇了其中一個會失去什麽，而是哪一個人更可以與你互相遷就。人生中，總會有一些時候是充滿矛盾與痛苦的。沒有人是完美的。如果你覺得有某兩個人合起來會是完美的人，或許你還沒有學會怎樣去愛。因爲愛不但是那人可以為你付出什麽，更是你能不能去包容那個人的缺點，相反亦然。
一個人，最重要的不是在今天想著以後沒有遺憾，而是今天沒有遺憾。做人做事，要對得起天地良心。如果你做每一件事情都是正面積極地去做，或許就不會有什麽失去的遺憾。 -
26th August 2009
To: My Beloved 愛你 - Happy Chinese Valentine's!
To: My Beloved
（席慕容 Xi Murong，Translation: Aka）A drifting cloud
is loose in my heart.
Say it: say you love me
or, not.
Choose the most perplexing
words and phrases
and stack them on top of each other
over and over.Just say what you wish, my Love
I will understand
how you feel.
Change: be filled with joy or sorrow
Switch between all those
complicated masks
and take the most confounded paths.Just do what you wish, my Love
I will understand
how you feel.
In our world, there may be changes
In our friends, there may be minds
that prove capricious.
I only know, my Love
that you are my first and final
Beloved.Amid those distant skies
I am yours.I am yours.
This perpetual nomad,
in a lifetime of traveling
quietly guards
your kindness
and your happiness.Alas, my Love
Lost on this pathway of Stars,
my thoughts are of you
- - But, I cannot convey them.My Love,
Do you know?
The heart of this wandererKeeps you –
- to eternity.---
8/26/09 – This is a gift for everyone on Chinese Valentine’s day (7/7 on Lunar calendar). I thought the Stars, wandering, and inability to convey one's feelings fit well with the story. It’s definitely not my best work, but we’re all saps when it comes to these special holidays. May all those with love in their hearts find their Beloved. ^^愛你
在我心中蕩漾的 是一片飄浮的雲
你盡管說吧 說你愛我或者不愛
你盡管去選擇那些難懂的字句
把它們反反覆覆地排列開來你盡管說吧 朋友
你的心情 我都會明白
你盡管變吧 變得快樂或者冷漠
你盡管去試戴所有的複雜的面具
走一些曲折的路你盡管去做吧 朋友
你的心情我都會明白
人世間 盡管有變遷
朋友裡 盡管有難測的胸懷
我只知道 朋友
你是我最初和最後的愛在迢遙的星空上 我是你的
我是你的永遠的流浪者 用漂泊的一生
安靜的守護著 你的溫柔 和你的幸福
可是 朋友
漂流在恆星的走廊上 想你 卻無法傳遞流浪者的心情啊
朋友 你可明白愛你 永遠
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10th August 2009
A Gentle Heart*一顆溫柔的心
There are many things we cannot control - life, death, love, etc. But we can control who we are/become. These days I've been challenged in a bunch of ways, not the least of which is moving to San Francisco from my beloved NYC.
My friend Frank asked what I value the most. Well, I don't have any interest in "things." Even though I took effort in building what I have right now, I can pick up and go at any moment. What I hold most precious are all intangible, except maybe (as he had reminded me) my health.My parents are the most important thing to me. They (typical of Chinese parents) are also the ones who can make me immeasurably miserable. My father went from saying that I "have no friends and family because I'm heartless" to saying that "I value my friends more than my family" and has succeeded in causing strings of anxiety attacks and semi-suicidal thoughts in the past (it's gotten much better since). My mom is generally a jovial and cool lady, unfortunately just as good as any Chinese mother at guilt tripping her daughter, declaring that I "have never done and do not know the first thing about doing laundry/cleaning/cooking/anything" to "might as well forget about everything and everyone" because "I don't care anyway". They think (sometimes) the best thing they can do for me is to destroy me (because, they said, no one else will do it). Ok, so... sometimes it gets a bit difficult.At this time, when I'm in a new city, trying my best to get acquainted with the place and people, work on an odd schedule, and make the best of everyday with barely any support, it's not the easiest thing. There have been kind people, but in the end, I know I'm on my own and alone. I've left everything I love (purposely) behind so that I can become a better person for the sake of those I love. I want to become a better person with each day, because I deserve it, the people I love deserve it. Contrary to popular images of me, yes, I'm anti-social (mostly when I'm lazy); yes, I get depressed; and yes, I get lonely. These days I have been much better at keeping myself level and on the up because I know I hold what's dearest to me in my heart and no one can take that away.
Through it all, I may cry, I may despair, I may even swear and scream and threaten to get violent (lol)... but I do still remind myself: what IS, is how it SHOULD be, and what is MEANT to be is how I MAKE it. So I pick myself up and keep going. In the end, I know that what makes a true difference is what many people these days spurn because they are afraid of getting hurt:
a Gentle Heart.
看了一個網站，感觸良多。我發現我還是最喜歡看一些溫暖人心的話句，那令我快樂，也令我思考。所以我決定了，我要做一個溫柔的人，擁有一顆溫柔的心。把我最好的一切，獻給所有愛我以及我愛的人。因爲席慕容，我看清楚了“溫柔”這個詞。總有一天，我希望能夠寫出一樣感動人心的詞句。非是石破天驚，但是卻細水長流。
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26th June 2009
十七秒的愛情
每一天都有許多許多的愛情故事在我們身邊身上發生﹐只是不知道﹐你有沒有發現﹖
[caption id="" align="alignright" width="183" caption="良緣何處���"]
這裡這個只有17秒的愛情故事﹐你有經歷過嗎﹖第一秒﹕你看到了她 - 散落人群中的一點繽紛[/caption]第二秒﹕你喜歡上她 - 明亮的眼睛和愛笑的嘴角第三秒﹕你開始走過去 - 靠近她第四秒﹕身邊另一個他也正走過去 - 靠近她第五秒﹕她走過來 - 向著你們第六秒﹕她好像開始臉紅 - 對著你們第七秒﹕他開始微笑 - 略略伸出了手第八秒﹕他們開始靠近 - 你的腳步卻停了下來第九秒﹕他們的手相碰 - 好像是故意的﹐不知道是他還是她第十秒﹕你愕然 - 他們認識﹖第十一秒﹕你恍然 - 他們一定是看對眼了第十二秒﹕你生氣 - 為什麼不是你﹖第十三秒﹕你轉身 - 眼不看為乾淨第十四秒﹕你自卑 - 反正你不夠人家帥第十五秒﹕你失落 - 還是走開吧第十六秒﹕你錯過 - 其實他們可能不認識第十七秒﹕你後悔 - 因為你突然發現他們的手應該是不小心碰到了在第一秒你見到她的時候﹐你真的喜歡上她了嗎﹖如果真的喜歡上了﹐為什麼不按著這種感覺堅持下去﹖在你看到他們碰到對方的手的時候﹐是不是不應該那麼快就下結論﹐認為他們是一對的﹖因為就是這樣﹐你就錯過了一個機會﹐一個人﹐一段緣份﹐剩下的可能就只有後悔和失落。其實每一天我們都是如此錯過了一些屬於我們的路或緣份。如果不知道曾經錯過﹐可能還不會那麼傷心﹐但如果明明知道是本來可以屬於自己的東西卻失去了﹐那種感覺真的很難受。如果在第三秒的時候你走快一點﹐如果在第六秒的時候你走快一點﹐如果在第八秒的時候你走快一點﹐可能後來你就不會停下。如果在第十三秒的時候你沒有轉身﹔如果在第十四秒的時候你沒有轉身﹔如果在第十五秒的時候你沒有轉身﹐是否就會發現其實這只是一個不是很美麗的誤會﹖到第十六秒的時候﹐你已經錯過你的的緣份了。在第十七秒的時候一切都已經太遲了﹐因為當你再次轉身時﹐她早已經離開了。下一次﹐爭取在第一秒就行動吧﹐不要遲疑﹐不要煩惱﹐緣份10%在天﹐只限在第一秒的那一點點悸動﹐剩下的90%還要靠自己努力呢。
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14th June 2009
In Defense of Libras
I just had to say this (traumatic incident happened with a fellow Libra*)...Libras have a strong sense of the individual but are not individualists. They love community but do not blend themselves into everyone else. They just have... "personality," but are not too obnoxious/loud about it.You may never see the core of a Libra, but that's how they can keep balance. Most people just can't accept that they cannot possess a Libra's heart in entirety... but it's only because they are straightforward that you know there's a part that they do not/cannot show you. They do not like to hide/keep secrets - not in their nature, they're too lazy (that's their motto).Their spirits soar high, but their hearts are constant. This means that if they love you, they really do love you. You are a permanent resident in their hearts. They may run off far away once in a while, but really, please believe that they still love you and will come back to you. Unfortunately, many people do not understand this and choose to abandon Libras first. Libras generally handle heartache pretty well, but that's because they spend their entire being on balancing themselves so they do not affect others. It's usually a pleasure to hang out with Libras because they try not to let their internal emotional balance work affect you.Libras are not flaky; they always carry things through to the end, even if that's not the same end they expected; they always keep their promises, even if it takes a little while for them to get around to it.Libras love to travel and try new things (that replenishes their life force), but they always know what the important things are to them and certain bottom lines would never be crossed.It's true, you may feel like you could never see the true heart of a Libra, but that's because it's so simple that you may not even recognize it even if it were laid out in front of you. Libras are strange creatures. You give them something and they will know to return in equal or more, but they only ask that you do not try to own them.If you can accept all that, if you can love a Libra, then I assure you, you will be one of the luckiest man/woman. Most people don't, which is why according to statistics Libras are (apparently) usually the last be married out of the twelve astrological signs, even though it would seem they should be the first to be married off because of their outgoing and pleasant personalities and overall qualities. Figures.[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Can you see my true face? It's right *there*."][/caption]*I apologize if it seems oddly self-serving for me to be writing this since, obviously, I'm a Libra. But really, everything is from my heart. For you people who can't see it. PUH! Don't think Libras can't get hurt/are cold! :p
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Sze K. Aka Chan's Posterous
歸去，也無風雨也無晴。
Walking the Fool's Journey.79312 ViewsTwitterFacebook -
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