Notes of a Desolate Libra

Recently I have adopted a rather strange way of wearing my hair: my Apple Do. And albeit people do a double-take when they see me the first time, by the second time no one really cares anymore. But every time I look at myself, I’m filled with happiness, because I know that that’s ME I’m looking at. I’m acting as according to how I want to, and I’m allowing my heart to express itself.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="286" caption="Spend your day HAPPY!"]

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One of my teachers made a comment several times: Why are you so cheerful all the time?

I didn’t quite know how to answer him at the time. To be honest, who can be happy ALL the time? But when you are unhappy, give yourself the space to be unhappy – it’s ok. We are all human. However, everything is a thought that exists because we decided to create and hold on to it. Therefore, when we wish to, we can also release it. The secret to living a charmed life is finding inspiration everywhere you look. There is so much beauty in this world… there’s no point in dwelling in one thing that seemed dark and desolate (I’m almost betraying the name of this Blog).

Another comment I always get is: are you sure you are how old you claim to be?

Well... I have my mother to thank for that… but one way to stay young is to avoid makeup. Ok, I admit, I’ve always hated makeup because I hate trouble – and waking up and putting on makeup for an hour just does not seem like something I’m interested in. However, putting on makeup is like putting up a layer between yourself and the world, as well as really adding misc. chemicals to your face that will more or less have some wear and tear on it.

There’s a secret to wrinkles too. Recently I read a book called “The Wisdom of Your Face.” Although after reading it I completely gave up on actually learning Chinese face reading, one of the lessons I learned from that book is that some wrinkles are meant to be on your face, whereas others are reflections of issues in your mental and emotional state.* Once you fix your issues internally, those wrinkles will naturally disappear. For the ones that you’re supposed to have, such as the “purpose lines,” don’t avoid them, because they mark who you are as a person and the paths that you have taken, mistakes you have made, and lessons you have learned. I think part of why I look the way I do is because of how free my heart is right now. I am working toward something I love and believe in, I have people I love and who love me both around me and far away… all around the world. What do I have to complain about? When you are happy with where you are in life, your face will show it. Even if you have wrinkles, you won’t be able to hide your “shine” even if you tried. That’s the mysterious and wonderful thing about the Way of the Universe, which, as I age, I grow to believe in more and more. Call it superstition all you like... but there is an order to everything. :)

If you really can't think of a good way to keep young... maybe try giving someone something - a dollar, a sandwich, a haircut (only if you're well trained), a story, a smile. Giving is one definite way of receiving, and it's been proven by science.

*Does not include wrinkles that you get from lack of sleep Q_Q

As I have known since childhood, expectations set the tone for most things in life. As an Asian (yes, the stereotypical studious nerd kind), I've always had a secret complaint: How is it that someone can have good grades all her life and then get yelled at or punished for getting a slightly lower grade, while someone else can have all bad grades all her life and then get praised and adored for getting a slightly higher grade?

Well, this article in the Economist brought up that once you see a person a certain way, it's difficult to change it. It's also what people call the "first impression is hard to shake." This works both ways. You can first see a person as good and then it's hard to convince you that he's bad... or you first see a person as bad and it's hard to convince you otherwise. It's extremely unfair, but it's so very true. We've all been and we continue to be guilty of this.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="I'm not that Innocent. "]

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There's no way to avoid it. Humans like to categorize things, as early as Aristotle and probably far beyond human records. It helps us cope with the complexities of life. The problem is that once we have established our opinion, we are extremely reluctant to overturn it, because that represents going back on our own egos and judgment. Big issue.

But this reluctance is what brings us to misunderstandings and false expectations. Humans are actually extremely versatile, but being versatile also means having a lack of security, so generally we choose stability over change. Once we have confined ourselves in a certain train of thought, we drop everything else. That is not to say we should divide our attention into a million tiny bits. There is a very simple thing that we can think about:

We are free humans (at least those that I know). This gives us the privilege to judge and choose. If we limit ourselves, then we have taken away our own choices.

For example, because I have always been a good student, I was expected to take (and so I "chose") a suitable career path, let's say a lawyer, and then work towards becoming a high power partner, though I really only like to make yummy desserts  and being buried in a stack of paperwork bores me to tears. Because I was smart, I was expected to... so I don't even think of myself as being able to choose....

Another aspect of this is that once we have seen something in a certain light, we don't like to change our perspective of it, which in effect rejects the notion that humans can change. Well, yes, they can, some more some less, and everyone at their own pace. If/when we change, other options come forth to greet us.

If you can see through all the levels of expectations, then you see that... some of us do not choose, some of us do chose, but there was always a choice.