Notes of a Desolate Libra

Since I have Google Analytics installed on my website, I've had the pleasure of checking out how (with what keywords) people are finding me on the internet. Some of the queries really boggles my mind…

1. Sze Kwan Chan Birthday: What!? Why is someone searching on the internet for my birthday!?
2. charles denner and the pentacle of eternal wealth: HUH!??!?!? How do these keyword things work!?
3. chou yun fat – very nice: I know he’s very nice… but the only thing I have on Chow Yun Fat is my little rant on Curse of the Golden Flower. The visitor must have been disappointed.
4. faye wong mbt: Ok, Faye Wong I understand… but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of her wearing MBTs… er???
5. libra not happy: I’m sorry… but actually I’m quite a happy Libra…
6. miss you smelly memories even more nauseating than the heart hei hei yo: HUH!? WHAT!?
7. 洗腦中 translate: Um… “in the midst of being brainwashed”?!
8. you create happiness from the injury created by me中文意思: 從我給予你的傷害中，你創造了快樂……?
9. toilet slave eat shit: Argh...
10. are libra people crazy: Um... I would go into a LONG explanation about this but I'm not sure everyone's interested in more praising of Libra... the short answer is - Yes, we are crazy, but we are crazy in a way that makes the world a better place. :)

There were other really funny ones in the past that I didn’t document… but sometimes they make my day! Of course, I’m the happiest when people find me through looking for translations of stuff on my site, especially of Xi Murong. :) I'm even happier when they spend more than 0:00 seconds on my site! :p The amazing thing is that I found my site to be one of the first ones to come up on all of the major search engines (Google, Bing, Baidu) for people searching for translations of her poetry. I have to say though, Google, get with it! I'm #1 with Bing and #2 with Baidu!!! >_
This also has inspired an idea to start a "translation request" section... let me mull over it...

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Stillness."]

Song of the Bones

Death
Perhaps does not mean
the end
of life.

Perhaps, it mimics how
a tiny insect
migrates from one leaf
to the next.

What I know
is so very little.

Would there be wind
in the world
of Bones?

Would there still be
remnants of past dreams
at the glimpse of dawn?

骸骨之歌 (席慕容)

死
也許並不等於
生命的終極
也許只是如尺蠖
從這一葉到另一葉的遷移
我所知道的是多麼的少啊
骸骨的世界裡有沒有風呢
有沒有一些在清晨的微光裡
還糢糊記得的夢

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Passing Star"]

The Year of Fate
(Translated by Aka)

Fallen for the missing piece of an Angel
Mesmerized by words of the Devil
the Lord sat upon his cloud-edge seat
blinked and wrinkled his brow
then nodded for the story to proceed.

Fallen for a passionate diversion
for no longer than a flower is in perfection
As you stood next to me
and casually flashed into my vision
a light lacerated the clear May skies
and all was brightened.

One random day
on a star-crossed pathway
this ill-fated drama
was destined to play.

So very suddenly, fortune’s threads
wove intertwined lines
through the Heart of our hands.

The distance
before innocence became misplaced
to after Love’s bittersweet taste
measured only but a day.
Can’t ask it to stay
nor trace its way
Such, is the Year of Fate.
(That very moment \ a lifetime \ changed.)

The time we encountered the firework display
was a chance to reincarnate
but the Commanding Star passed by
and took you astray
without any goodbyes
a light year away.

----------------------------------------------

T/N: Happy Chinese New Year/Valentines Day! My first lyric translation of the year!!! Right before the CNY too! I was totally obsessed with this song for about a month and finally decided to make an attempt at translation… ah the beauty of Chinese… (yes yes I’m a dork). I took quite a lot of liberties with this translation, both in selecting words and interpretation of the intentions of the lyric writer (the matchless Albert Lin Xi). Also, I decided to add a more “mystical” flavor to this translation, fully utilizing the various references to Chinese fortune telling. The story I told was basically of someone who (being egging on of both the Gods and the Devil) fell for the wrong person and ended up in heartbreak; an actor in a tragic play directed by the powers that be. Very typical story, but so beautifully told.

Chinese culture related clarifications:

Year of Fate – 流年 (liu2 nian2) actually means passing years or (in this particular song) a person’s fortune in a particular year. I had to tweak it a little to make it sound more poetic in English.
Commanding Star – 紫薇星 (zi3 wei1 xing1) This is the star of leaders and commanders. No standard translation; I’m using this particular translation for emphasis on the power and inescapable grasp of this star.
Lines in the Hands – In Chinese fortune telling, the lines in people’s palms tell their entire life’s tale, i.e. Palm Reading.

流年 (王菲)

愛上一個天使的缺點
用一種魔鬼的語言
上帝在雲端　只眨了一眨眼
最後眉一皺　頭一點

愛上一個認真的消遣
用一朵花開的時間
你在我旁邊　只打了個照面
五月的晴天　閃了電

有生之年　狹路相逢　終不能倖免
手心忽然長出　糾纏的曲線
懂事之前　情動以後　長不過一天
留不住　算不出　流年 (哪一年　讓一生　改變)

遇見一場煙火的表演
用一場輪迴的時間
紫微星流過　來不及說再見
已經遠離我　一光年

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="320" caption="In the Mist"]

Zen (1)

What was said, or left unsaid
were forgotten
when you left
silently.

I let my tears hide
in the pages of this book.
Just like
those few Jasmine blossoms
from our youth.

Perhaps in an afternoon yet to come
they will take flight
suddenly
into a fragrant-less, sound-less
void.

And perhaps, at that time
outside the window
there would be rain
falling
ever so gently.

禪意（一） (席慕容)
當你沉默地離去
說過的　或沒說過的話
都已忘記
我將我的哭泣也夾在
書頁裏　好像
我們年輕時的那幾朵茉莉
也許會在多年後的
一個黃昏裏
從偶然翻開的扉頁中落下
沒有芳香　再無聲息
窗外那時　也許
會正落著細細的細細的雨

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="324" caption="Imprint"]

Imprint

Do not deny that beautiful promise
from being made
because it may change.

Do not deny yourself that one
wholehearted encounter
because it may end in departure.

There must be something
that will remain.

Remain to be a permanent imprint
so that

So that

Even those whom I have never met
will know

How much, how deeply,

I have loved you.

印記 (席慕容)

不要因為也許會改變
就不肯說那句美麗的誓言
不要因為也許會分離
就不敢求一次傾心的相遇
總有一些什麼
會留下來的吧
留下來作一件不滅的印記
好讓　好讓那些
不相識的人也能知道
我曾經怎樣深深地愛過你

I've heard many people say that translators are often anti-social (or socially awkward) people because they are always home alone doing their work. There's very little outside contact. That is very true (the home alone part), but some of us like going out to meet new people and have varied interests too.

We had come into contact when I linked his online comic on this website. He tracked the link back to me and then we made plans to meet and feast when he's in NYC for the ATA conference. I am truly thankful for all the wonderful people that I've met because of my profession.

I took them to Minca for ramen (gave them a list of foods to choose from), then to (of course) Cha-an for desserts. They seemed to really like both places and agree with me that the black sesame creme brulee was probably one of the best desserts that they'd ever had. It was a true pleasure to see others enjoy food that I love! Alejandro was also kind enough to draw me a little mini-comic at Cha-An. WHOO! I can't express how excited I am! My own cameo in the famous Mox comics!!!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="461" caption="Souvenir!"]

Thought bubbles:
Alex:I want an amazing toilet too! (referring to the wonderful women's bathroom at Cha-An)
H (name hidden for privacy reasons): Finally, I met someone "foodier" than I am!
Aka: They're very nice but they're awful with chopsticks!

So... this post is mainly to let people know that - YES! We translators have lives! And we like to be social too!

And of course... that friendships can come very easily if you're willing to make yourself available to receive them.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="260" caption="Vanish"]

If

The four seasons can be
decorated with solemn grayness –
If the Sun so wishes.

Life can be
arranged with profound loneliness –
If Love so wishes.

I can forever
- - vanish - -
If You so wish.

Except for my thoughts of you
my Darling,
I have nothing.

But
If you so wish

I will immediately let these
thoughts wither and fall
If You so wish.

I will unearth every seed
Slit every river
Allow this destitute wasteland to
extend to eternity.

Never think of you again,
for the rest of my life.
Except, perhaps, on those nights
dampened with tears.

If such
is your wish.

---
I made the decision to translate 願意 as “so wish,” contrary to conventions, because I felt this was the essence of the poem that was conveyed to me. Some may argue as to the accuracy, but it’s a conscious personal choice.

如果 (席慕容)

四季可以安排得極為黯淡
如果太陽願意
人生可以安排得極為寂寞
如果愛情願意
我可以永不再出現
如果你願意
除了對妳的思念
親愛的朋友　我一無長物
然而　如果妳願意
我將立即使思念枯萎　斷落
如果妳願意
我將
把每一粒種子都掘起
把每一條河流都切斷
讓荒蕪乾涸延伸到無窮遠
今生今世　永不再將妳想起
除了　除了在有些個
因落淚而濕潤的夜裏
如果妳願意

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="240" caption="Mist"]

Nostalgia

The song from my homeland is
a crisp whistle -
always singing
on a moonlit night.

Ah, but

The face of my homeland is
a faded heartache
as if waving farewell
through a mist.

After the goodbyes,
Nostalgia is an ageless tree
forgetting to mark its years
with a ring.

---
I tore my hair out trying to find something fitting for the end… alas… human capabilities are limited… so please, don’t think any less of me.

鄉愁 (席慕容)

故鄉的歌是一支清遠的笛
總在有月亮的晚上響起
故鄉的面貌卻是一種模糊的悵惘
彷彿霧裏的揮手別離
離別後
鄉愁是一棵沒有年輪的樹
永不老去

Monologue

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="320" caption="Just for that spark of Life."]

Stop writing these strange poems
you won’t ever become a poet.

But…

The love that I harbor is of such
beauty,
how can my heart be not filled with
poetry?

My words are as loosened pearls,
be they, incomplete and imperfect,
but every single one
is smooth as when they started.

I cannot stop the thoughts delivered
by my pen,
like the unstoppable rain
in the Spring –

be it that it splatters mud
all over the streets -

But it cannot clear the heart
of the Jasmine
of its mark.

自白 (席慕容)

別再寫這些奇怪的詩篇了
你這一輩子別想做詩人
但是
屬於我的愛是這樣美麗
我心中又怎能不充滿詩意
我的詩句像斷鍊的珍珠
雖然殘缺不齊
但是每一顆珠子
仍然柔潤如初
我無法停止我筆尖的思緒
像無法停止的春天的雨
雖然會下得滿街泥濘
卻也洗不淨了茉莉的小花心

---------------------

This is a small present for my dearest 大S. Her love for music and her persistence in finding what she truly loves always resonates with my own search. She has also been a huge support for the craziness that I'm trying to attempt in my life... perhaps because she is also doing what some may think is "crazy."May she find what's in her heart and continue to be the brave and beautiful person that she is. Happy Birthday, sweetie!

Addendum: After staring at this poem for a while, I finally had a better understanding of the final stanza... so changed it.

To: My Beloved
(Translated by Aka)

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="206" caption="I Will Always Be There"]

A drifting cloud
is loose in my heart.
Say it: say you love me
or, not.
Choose the most perplexing
words and phrases
and stack them on top of each other
over and over.

Just say what you wish, my Love
I will understand
how you feel.
Change: be filled with joy or sorrow
Switch between all those
complicated masks
and take the most confounded paths.

Just do what you wish, my Love
I will understand
how you feel.
In our world, there may be changes
In our friends, there may be minds
that prove capricious.
I only know, my Love
that you are my first and final
Beloved.

Amid those distant skies
I am yours.

I am yours.

This perpetual nomad,
in a lifetime of traveling
quietly guards
your kindness
and your happiness.

Alas, my Love
Lost on this pathway of Stars,
my thoughts are of you
-  -  But, I cannot convey them.

My Love,
Do you know?
The heart of this wanderer

Keeps you –
- to eternity.

---
8/26/09 – This is a gift for everyone on Chinese Valentine’s day (7/7 on Lunar calendar). I thought the Stars, wandering, and inability to convey one's feelings fit well with the story. It’s definitely not my best work, but we’re all saps when it comes to these special holidays. May all those with love in their hearts find their Beloved. ^^

愛你 (席慕容)

在我心中蕩漾的 是一片飄浮的雲
你盡管說吧 說你愛我或者不愛
你盡管去選擇那些難懂的字句
把它們反反覆覆地排列開來

你盡管說吧 朋友
你的心情 我都會明白
你盡管變吧 變得快樂或者冷漠
你盡管去試戴所有的複雜的面具
走一些曲折的路

你盡管去做吧 朋友
你的心情我都會明白
人世間 盡管有變遷
朋友裡 盡管有難測的胸懷
我只知道 朋友
你是我最初和最後的愛

在迢遙的星空上 我是你的
我是你的

永遠的流浪者 用漂泊的一生
安靜的守護著 你的溫柔 和你的幸福
可是 朋友
漂流在恆星的走廊上 想你 卻無法傳遞

流浪者的心情啊
朋友 你可明白

愛你 永遠